Say Hello to my Little Friend

By

This is Circle.

Isn’t it cute?

It’s not just another cute, little gadget though – it’s my little helper, my partner in crime, the engine of my evil plot.

Seriously though, this thing is awesome, and I really recommend all parents get one. Unless you live in the wilds of Sweden with no computers, internet or WiFi – in that case feel free to skip it.

If you don’t live in the wilds of Sweden, and you have kids in your house, sit down for a minute and let me tell you all about my little buddy.

But First

A couple of things:

  1. I've been researching kids and internet safety since my oldest was born (so, 13 years now), I've found lots of resources and followed too many terrifying rabbit holes (never do a Google image search for "Fluffy Unicorn" without parental controls...just sayin')
  2. I was horrified to discover Chromebooks, which the kids' school uses for classwork and recommends for homework, do not support any kind of parental controls or internet safety settings
  3. I like and follow the Cyber Safety Cop because he helps this lame parent keep as up to date as possible on the kid app du jour
  4. Yes, I read the Musical.ly article, and yes, I agree with the author – porn is icky, exploitation is gross and ugly, but there are FAR worse things your kid can run into on the internet...so much worse, really, so much
  5. The Musical.ly post is why I took the time to write this
  6. No, I don't have it all figured out - kids, smartphones, and internet safety is a moving target and our kids are lab mice in a big social/developmental experiment, and it scares me...a lot
  7. No, Circle is not paying me – I'm a huge fan and want to spread the love for other parents who need an effective resource

Aaaand, Back to Circle

You unwrap that cute little cube, plug it into your router, and it automatically hijacks your WiFi signal. Next, you download the app on your phone and get busy setting up your account, devices, and family members.

Then, the magic begins.

Circle facilitates active management of each family members’ internet usage – what sites and apps they can use, how long they can use them, how long they can be online, and what time they need to log off because their WiFi connection just shuts off. Set-up varies based on how many users and devices you have, but it’s pretty simple and takes 30-45 minutes.

And then, it just...does its thing.

Quietly, competently, it keeps everyone on the straight and narrow with no fighting, no cheating, no bargaining.

I. Love. It.

We do occasional check-ups and adjustments to ensure everyone’s limits and access are appropriate and effective, but meanwhile it just works.

A Few Details


Every WiFi enabled device in the house is added to Circle as soon as it tries to access the internet. I have the house account set to “teen” level with some modifications so visiting kid friends are automatically filtered from adult content. If a visiting adult has the WiFi password, I add their device to my account for filter-free surfing.

Each profile can be set to a built-in filter level that's fully customizable for which apps/sites they can visit and how much time they can spend there. Circle also offers settings for:

  • BedTime – all internet access turns off at a time you set – it’s adjustable on the fly so if homework is running late we can extend bed time in 15-minute increments
  • Time Limits – restrictions for each site/app and overall time limits can be imposed
  • OffTime – you can impose breaks of various lengths


The master controller, me, can see each user’s history, and I get real-time reports whenever one of the kids hits a time limit.

Then there’s my favorite button – the one that pauses the internet for the whole house. No YouTube, no Netflix, no Pinterest, nothing. It’s wonderful in those moments when everyone’s distracted and you want to get their attention fast. I push a button and, in a giddy rush of power, it all shuts off.

Glorious.

It’s also a lot of fun when you want to mess with your significant other and watch him lose his mind because the videos he’s binging on keep shutting off. So evil. So much hilarity.

The kids and I have had some negotiation around limits – like when one of them ate all their online time playing games and watching YouTube and had no time left to do homework. But each of these incidents have led to great conversations about choices, time use, and consequences.

Circle’s filters are good and actually work well – the kids haven’t found a way around them and it competently blocks questionable content. For example, though the two oldest can get to YouTube, Circle filters out all the sketchy content with broad and fine blocking triggers. Same thing with random websites – they can’t even read this blog. My sweariness means Circle blocks all access unless I log in and make an exception.

In fact, Circle is so good at blocking “questionable” content the kids couldn’t access some of their school sites and learning apps. Not to worry though, Circle has a solution – specific sites can be listed as exceptions to the filter. Ta-da, the kids logged on and finished their history homework.

Oh, and it works everywhere. As long as I have a signal to my phone, I can make changes to what my little cube is up to at home.

Hardassmom.com


But, can’t they just get around the WiFi blocks by using cellular data? Well, yeah, and Circle has options for that too, but we don’t need to worry about it yet because none of their devices have cellular data to use.

I’m a hardass mom who won’t let her kids have smart phones. The two older kids each have some version of flip phone, on which we have blocked all picture texting and data usage.

It’s hard on all of us sometimes, but I’ve seen the research on how kids’ brains develop, including the fact that decision making capability at 12 – 14 is worse than when a kid is 10. I’m dug in on smart phones because it’s the only thing I can do to protect them from the yawning abyss of tween and teen social media.

And, despite dire predictions to the contrary, they still have friends despite being the sad kid with the lame mom who won’t give them an iPhone.

Frankly, I've always felt it's unfair to expect a kid to have all that power and capability and then need exert the self-control to use it well. It demands a level of responsibility from them they're not really ready for and the consequences of a stupid, spontaneous mistake can haunt them for the rest of their lives. And so very many of them do so many stupid things with their little internet pocket friend.

My girls don’t have to worry about a boy pressuring, or convincing, them to send naked pictures, and then seeing those pictures passed around the school or plastered all over the internet, because they don’t have the capability to do so. They also don’t have to receive random, unsolicited dick pics. It’s a win-win.

On the other hand, I know they do need to learn how to use the internet responsibly. I am amazed and impressed by the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and how they're using social media to push for positive change. So, as my kids get older they will get a smartphone while we still have a couple years to help them learn how to use it wisely, responsibly, and powerfully.

Victory!

Meanwhile, I love Circle because it ended the nagging, bargaining, sneaking cycle and brought peace across the land.

Not long ago Quokka was on the way to bed and tossed over her shoulder, “You know, I’ve started to like the Circle thing. I don’t have to try and remember when we agreed I would stop or try to resist cheating. Circle does it for me and you don’t have to yell at me anymore. It’s nice.”

She didn’t see the slightly maniacal happy dance going on behind her.


So, are you looking for mommy’s little WiFi helper? Do you already have Circle or something like it? How’s it working for you? Tell me about what you’re using or ask me any questions you have in the comments.

Please Note: no one paid me anything at all to write this. I just love my Circle and want to share its glory and utility with other parents. Happy Circling...

 Second Note: yes, I realize the little kid has the "none" filter setting - her lone internet enabled device is a LeapPad by LeapFrog – their parental controls were clashing with Circle's controls so we set her to none and let their filter do the heavy lifting (which it does)

Popular posts from this blog

Action Princesses Save the Day

By
Image
Three kids is only one more than two. I know, it's simple math.  It's amazing how hard that one extra kid can make parenting sometimes, especially now that we're outnumbered and none of our kids are what you'd call sedate, but it's just one more kid. Yet, the real difference between two and three is how people react to seeing me out and about with my three girls. I was mom to two girls for four years before number three joined the troop, so I've noticed the difference in commentary and reaction from the judging public (and it's amazing how many people feel compelled to say something). With just the two girls, I got a lot of compliments on the cute and how great sisters are. With three, I get a lot of, “whoa, three girls!!!” And then one of two follow-ups; either, “Wow, that’s going to be really rough when they’re teenagers,” or, “Well, you're lucky, at least girls are more cautious and quiet, three boys would be so much tougher.” I want to smack the...
Read more

Cheetahs, and Dragons, and Angels, Oh My!

By
Image
One of the things I love best about having kids, besides the unquestioning acceptance of whatever weirdness I feel like dishing out at any given moment, is that they remind me to be imaginative and see wonder everywhere. Sure, I dump water on some of the magic with facts and science-y explanations, but they always bring the wonder. But then, when I consider the science from a child’s perspective, it reminds me that the cold hard facts are pretty miraculous too.  Simple things like lightning, wind and how a cloud forms are fantastic and amazing again – they remind me to look and notice and marvel at something as simple as the sparkling dew on our windshield this morning. And then there’s Quokka, who drives me to rediscover my creativity and reminds me that I was once a fantastical kid before adult responsibility sobered me up like a hard slap to the face. Some part of me let go of that wild, impractical imagination because it didn't serve a purpose. I spent more time on “real” ...
Read more

Floored

By
Image
The dog died and our last reason for not doing something about our awful, disgusting carpet died with him. When we bought the house 12 years ago, we were informed the owner had installed the cheapest possible carpet to sell the place. It was indeed cheap, and crappy, and really light beige. But, you know, kids and dogs, and potty training, and chocolate milk, and juice, and muddy shoes… We just…let it ride…for more than a decade. Once, in a fit of exhaustion, I ripped the carpet out of the dining room, which was also the main traffic pattern in the house – path to the kitchen and all – because I couldn’t face the futile task of cleaning it one more time. We polished the slab, applied some sealer, and had a “designer” cement floor for a couple of years. The rest of the house was a scruffy calico of cheap oak veneer, tile, and fraying carpet mottled with stains. The stairs in particular were bad – both ugly and approaching official bio-hazard designation. I was repelled...
Read more