Irish Daisy

2015 has been, um, challenging so far. Busy jobs, busy lives and really accident prone children… Seriously, it has been the year of one damn thing after another. Not long ago, my boss made a crack about not being able to wait for the next story of drama and mayhem on Monday…and then another kid broke her nose.  And so I’m just here to say, STAHHHHHHHP. No, really, knock it off! Actually, in the spirit of Zen Shorts (it’s a good book, go read it - no, I don't get paid for this, I just really like the book), I find myself continually grateful that the various little calamities that have eaten the first half of 2015 have been relatively minor. Many of them could have been so very much worse – what may seem like a run of bad luck has actually been the best sort because no one is permanently damaged (I am now knocking on every piece of wood I can find). I am truly grateful for the small twist of fate, the diligent guardian angel or sliver of positive Karma that has limited...

Well, it finally happened. It took 10 years and three kids, and since the youngest is four and a half, I was hoping it never would, but it did, and it broke my heart just a little. We were getting ready to start our day Monday morning. Everyone was getting dressed, brushing hair, slathering sunblock – the usual morning stuff. In a calm and cheery voice I reminded my half-naked youngest daughter, “Hey cutie, we need to put pants on so we can go have breakfast.” She could see me in the reflection of the floor-length mirrored closet door from where she lay in the middle of the bathroom. Instantly, her mouth curved into a grumpy badger frown, “no.” “Yep, we need pants for school. No nekkie kids allowed!” And then she did it – she leapt to her feet, scooped up the pants, gathered her righteous preschooler anger and stabbed me in the heart.  “I hate you, you’re stupid!” punctuated with throwing her pants at me and fleeing the room. Hating the morning I knew s...

I have decided, definitively, is that there is nothing in life that makes being a grown up feel more stupid than the winter holidays.  No. Thing. It starts with Halloween and keeps rolling right through November, with Thanksgiving, reaches the apex with Christmas and then slobbers all over you for New Years.  Then January comes, everyone has a holiday hangover and you’re a wreck because you've just spent the last two months frantically trying to make the holidays special and magical for your family to the point that you realize you’re not actually sure you even like the family you've just spent two months killing yourself for. After a highly unscientific, casual survey, I've determined this is largely a female (bonus complications for working mother) problem.  Sorry guys, but most of you seem to have been trained that making holidays special, or even making them happen at all, is not your job – I do know a few exceptions to this, but there’s a reason for the ster...

Renée Zellweger’s face is everywhere today, or should I say Renée Zellweger’s new face. It bothers me...a lot. Why? Oh, let me count the ways. First, and probably foremost, with all of the bad, bad shit going on in the world today, why in the name of sanity is any media this obsessed with how a woman looks – even if that woman once starred in some films. Seriously, even talking about Ebola some more would be preferable to this manufactured horror about a woman, gasp, appearing to age because, you know, she’s gotten fu!#!$@# older. Second, the faux shock that she may have had plastic surgery! Double gasp!!! Who the hell cares what she’s done with her face? Really? How does it affect anyone but her, the doctor who’s Land Rover she paid off and casting directors? It’s not like Hollywood, or all of Southern California for that matter, is unfamiliar with the concept of elective cosmetic procedures. I will admit that when I saw the picture I thought, “oh, poor thing.” But I was mostly ...

You know what really sucks? Back-to-school viruses, that’s what really sucks right now. I’m home with stricken kid #2.  First Athena was laid low by some bug and an immune system that jacked her furnace up to 102. Now Badger has been nailed. Though I don’t think it’s the same thing because Athena had a wicked sore throat and lost her voice while Badger has a heinous cough and a fever of only 100. Her throat and voice are just fine – as she is currently demonstrating by wandering around the house singing at the top of her lungs punctuated by the occasional coughing fit (and I bark "cover your mouth!" every time). I may feel terrible Luckily, Badger’s bouncing back really quickly; which is good because Athena’s illness over the weekend made us delay their joint birthday party again and we’re now more than a month out from their actual birthdays. If we had to delay it one more time Athena would lose it. Also silver lining, I’m getting some stuff done around here that I ...

Heading out! Most excited she's ever looked... Athena went to her first sleep over party weekend before last and had a lot of fun. Seems like a nice, uncomplicated thing, right? Yeah, not so much. Instead, a simple night away with friends was the trigger for a complete Puff-family existential crisis (hi there, with our #firstworldproblems). First there was Quokka and her major sad because she was left behind. After dropping her sister off, we went to run errands and there was major droopyness in the Lowe’s parking lot. I started asking questions because I figured I knew what was going on, but I wanted her to think about where exactly the bad feelings were coming from so she could acknowledge and manage her emotions. Sometimes I’m an ass. Though, in my defense, no one had previously said anything to, or in front of, me about what was really going on. I had no idea we had critical sister relationship tension already brewing. All smug and assured of my insightful mom-ness,...

Do you want people to sniff in appreciation as you walk by? [Stop it – get your mind out of the gutter.] Would you like for people to exclaim, “wow, you smell so nice!” when they give you a hug? [I mean it, there’s nothing dirty here.] You do? Great! Then get down to your local store and pick up a bottle of this good smelling, super easy to use laundry shit. It’s from Method*, so it’s not going to poison you or anyone you love slowly to death while you smell great. Also, it’s fabric softener so your clothes will be hugable in more ways than just light, fresh-as-a-sunny-meadow smell. Just toss your wet clothes in the dryer, spray it in there four (or 11) times, and let it run. Voila , fresh, yummy laundry you can roll around in (we don't judge, really). If you want to be super-super fresh smelling, as some unnamed members of the Puff family opt to, you can use this shit as a wrinkle releaser and douse your shirt then tumble on warm for a few minutes before you put i...

I love school supplies. Really, really love them – the waxy crayon smell, the shiny binder covers, the rows and rows of bright markers and pens and pencils. I adore the colors, the scents, the memories and every moment of shopping for new school stuff. Loaded with fresh supplies and ready for a hopeful new year  I've loved school supply shopping for forever, even though I never really loved actual school. I was a good enough student and a lot of elementary school came fairly easy to me (okay, there was that trimester in third grade where I almost flunked, but we don’t talk about that). It wasn't the academics, or all of the terrible spelling tests that made me dislike school. It was the social thing – the having to deal with and understand other kids. I was that kid; the awkward one who wasn't really sure how to fit in anywhere. I was teased a lot and spent a lot of time either crying or punching someone (seriously, none of the shenanigans I was involved with in s...

If you pay attention to cultural commentary or women's issues, you'll hear something about how women are objectified in our culture, and while we know the definition, it can be hard to describe what it looks like in our personal lives. Athena, being only seven, doesn't know the definition and doesn't even recognize the word, but she’s already figured out how soul-sucking objectification can be. Athena has always been cute (okay, not always - she did have a couple of months of looking like Winston Churchill, but other than that, the cute is nearly painful in intensity). I mean really grab-her-up-and-munch-her-cheeks cute. Her head was in the 98th percentile when she was born (gets it from her big-headed dad, who is also pretty damn cute and extremely photogenic). Now, that sounds like it would be freaky looking right? Nope, what it does is make a person look like a living doll. See, cute The proportionally big head, combined with her proportionally large eyes, fu...

My neighbor stopped by to chat about the surprise third baby she will be having in early December, and the addition they will be building on their two-bedroom house to accommodate their soon-to-be five-person family. We laughed and congratulated and reminisced about having Badger. We commiserated about the challenge of going back to diapers and highchairs. We joked about birthdays and kid spacing (both Athena and Badger were born in September...apparently the holidays are really joyous around here), and we offered help if they ever need it because three can be challenging. Hanging with baby Badger I really wanted to say so much more, and maybe even scream a few warnings, but why scare the poor woman while she’s six months pregnant? Badger was very on-purpose (we worked to have that kid, if you call working having lots of sex at the right time of the month), but we had no idea at all what we were getting ourselves into - not a clue about how much more difficult it would be to ma...